Why don't you and I?
Thursday, Apr. 05, 2007 7:46 PM

"It's better to burn out than fade away." - Kurt Cobain

Random thought... I can't believe it's April and it's snowing outside when we just had weather in the 70s two days ago.

I was watching C.S.I. the other night and mortality struck me. What does it feel like to lose a parent? What does it feel like to lose a child? What if I have a child and it dies? How am I going to make it through the death of my parents if they die before me?

And then I imagined them dead.. or having just died... and it struck me how much I depend on them. They're deaths... I think they will break me. I think they will destroy me.

I would actually prefer to die before my parent's do. I don't think I could handle another death. I don't think I'm capable of going through the emotions again, moving forward with my life because it's the only thing I can do.

I'm tired.

I'm confused.

I hate that I think I have to date just because I don't want to die alone.

I think Davy and I need to run away together.