Serenity
Wednesday, Aug. 08, 2007 1:24 PM

Serenity is yours.
When chaos looms seek the sweet
Surrender of simplicity.
Gaze above at the glassy sky,
Feel each blade of green
Beneath your feet,
Listen to the sound of faith
Like a reed flute playing
Inside your chest.
Breath.
Stand in witness of
Your true nature.
Remember the compassion
Of the lover's eyes,
The calm wisdom of
The elder's voice.
Go within. Be at rest without.
Fall to your knees in gratitude.
You have all your need.
Turn from the riot of distraction.
Let it roll over and beyond you.
Serenity is yours.
It lives always within your reach.

- Ching Qu Lam

This poem is hanging on my office wall at home. Last night while I was attempting to fall asleep, I kept repeating in my head the lines, "when chaos looms, seek the sweet surrender of simplicity." That is my goal for now: to seek simplicity. I need it.

I just talked to my parents about moving to a big city. Of course my dad is hollaring in the background, "Get a job first!" I told him I might have a better time finding a job if I lived in the city, first. But who knows? I've never lived anywhere but Kansas, and while Kansas is a great state to raise a family or grow old in, it's just not the place for me. My mother was like, "you're full of wanderlust." And I am. I always have been. I probably inherited it from my ancestors who moved from the old country to this one. Who knows?

The only thing I do know is that life is changing all around me. The chaos that I'm experiencing right now is going to open up doors for me and lead me to where I'm meant to be. My astrological sign emphasizes this point, too. "Even the losses or sadnesses in your world are part of a process of making room for something new and wonderful. There is nothing to be afraid of. You feel sure that something that you really want is on its way to you and you are right."

Anyhow, I have asked dumbshit to quit reading my diary. So far so good. Maybe he's finally gotten the hint that he's not wanted in my life in any shape or form. Someone should advise him on how to shut the trap of his bitch. She's making a complete ass of herself, I'm sure. Ah, who am I to care? If bitch wishes to obsess over me, I shall let her. I assume it makes her feel better about herself. She does need a self-esteem boost.

On to other matters, it's time to figure out how to pray for Dave and Frank's son. They need to come out of their comas or pass on. It's not living remaining trapped inside an unconscience state. It's not living at all.