Friendship
Wednesday, Aug. 15, 2007 10:39 AM

I went and saw The Bourne Ultimatum last night. Oh my god. I think everybody should go see that movie. So if you haven't seen it already, go. Go. Go. Go.

Not much going on here. I have effectively cleaned the clutter out of my life. And it feels good. No more drama. I had it out of my life for awhile, but Ryan kept bringing it back in via his association with Little Miss Drama Queen. I don't have any hope that she'll grow up someday and act like a real adult so my decision to dispose of his friendship was an easy decision. And a final one. My frustration with him had been building up for months, and towards the end he had been getting on my nerves severely.

Plus, he brought the worst out in me. When he's out of my life, I don't suffer from road rage. When he's in it, I yell and scream at every car on the road. With him in my life, I get angry at my coworkers. With him out of it, I tolerate my coworkers and have mellowed down. With him in my life, I'd get drunk and call up Cory and say nasty things to him. When we didn't talk, Cory and I got along just great.

I don't think I'm in the wrong for ending particular friendships. For instance, I am no longer friends with ReAnna because she's a crack addict. I am no longer friends with Crystal because she's always backstabbed people and used them as a means to an end. I gave up being friends with Casey #2 because he's a womanizer and his attitude towards life sucks. I placed Ryan on the other side of the bench because he'll never change. He will always settle, and he's just too damn lazy (and possibly full of social anxiety) to get a job and make something of himself. And as for Cory? I'd still be his friend because I love him - but I can't be his friend because I will always love him.

I was feeling down for awhile there because it felt like my friends were all dropping off like fleas. I had to refocus my attention. In the end, less than 1% was kicked off the face of the earth. It just felt like all of them because I brought this on myself all at once. And when you get down to it, only one of them truly mattered to me - the one who will always matter to me no matter what.

And while it felt like the end of the world, it wasn't. I kept waking up the next day and trudging through my so called life. Being able to talk to Sabrina helped. She's been my longest and most dearest friend (15 years now and running). Plus Av. Can't forget or let go of Av. He's been such a positive force and influence in my life. And the words Melissa left me in my comments area helped a lot too. Thanks Melissa!

Okay. My entry today wasn't the best of entries, but I thought I should post one since it's been awhile. Now I'm off to lunch with my Mumsy... later all.