The Victim
Saturday, Dec. 01, 2007 10:42 PM

"Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts." - Author Unknown

Today was a bit hellish for me. My brother and his boyfriend arrived last night from San Francisco to attempt living in Wichita, and needless to say... the family drama has begun.

To make a long story short, my dad told them that their first priority was to find a job. S. took it personally and has been mad at my dad all day. Of course, when my dad spoke to them about it, he probably made them feel like they were being attacked. Then again, my dad's right. They've been taking advantage of the situation for way too long.

S. can't find a job. S. can't find a job because he has barely any work experience. He hasn't had a job since he was 20 and it's hurting him big time now that he's been sending out applications. (Let this be a lesson to the unemployed out there who expect to live off their parents even after their parents die. You're only hurting yourself, and money doesn't grow on trees.)

What has he been doing over the last 7 years? Well, let's see. He travelled to Europe and spent one summer there, he lived in NYC for a year, he got his Masters in Boston but neglected to have any internships or a part time job while studying there, and he moved to San Francisco for about 4 months. How's he been able to do all of this, you ask? Dad's money.

My dad's been pretty generous to him, but my dad's fed up. Literally fed up. Of course, Dad controls everything right now because it's Dad's money, and that pissses S. off. S. is having a hard time dealing with reality and accepting the fact that he fucked up by not working a job or two, and S. won't accept a job at some Mickey D's or something. No, he's holding out for a job he wants. Well, that ain't happening.

So what happened tonight at dinner? We're eating at a restaurant when all hell breaks loose between S. and my dad. S. starts yelling at my dad, then storms out of the restaurant. Of course T. has to follow him. After all, S. is and always will be the victim here. Do they consider how much grief this causes my parents? No. Because right now it's all about S.

S. is stuck in victim mode. Because of the crappy decisions he made in his past, he's going through some tough times right now. I'd like to tell him that's how the cookie crumbles, that crap gets worse before it gets better because you have to deal with the affects of the decisions you made before things CAN get better. I can't tell him these things because he's an emotional ticking time bomb. I can't talk to him because he'll just get defensive and take things personally. Like I said, he's stuck in victim mode.

He's only been back one day and he's all ready dissing the place and it's citizens. He's gone off on christianity at least twice, and has put down people who believe in God. He hasn't come to accept the differences in the people around him yet, because he won't let them accept his differences. They are his enemy. He is their victim.

I'm not sure what to do. I'm not sure what to say. I don't know how to fix this. What I do know is that it's going to be a long and bumpy ride for awhile. I do know that.