Life is Good.
Tuesday, Jan. 08, 2008 8:39 PM
"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
It's been one of those weeks so far. I can't stop smiling.
Haley's been stretching herself out along the length of my desk so I get a picture of pure cuteness each time I look down at her. I'd take a picture, but everytime I get up to grab my camera she follows me out of the room. Comet's been as cute as a button, too. Every little thing she does from flushing the toilet to getting caught between the shower curtains seems to amuse me.
Many things continue to happen, some of them extremely frustrating. However, I can't seem to get flustered and upset when these things happen. It's like I've finally learned to let things roll off my back and to worry less. It's been nice.
This morning the electricity went out from around 7:30 AM until about 12:30 in the afternoon. I fell back asleep for a little bit only to dream about being late for work. I woke up around 10:45 completely afraid that it was later than it was only to find that the electricity was still out and it wasn't so late. I took a shower in the dark and then read a few chapters in the book I'm reading.
Work hasn't been getting to me either. I keep telling myself, "Jessica, you're only one person and you can only do so much." Will it really matter in 5 years if it took me twice as long to file my papers? No. As long as I do what's important first, none of it matters if it piles up around me. I'll do it when I can.
The last two days I've been doing various odd jobs for my dad and Brian. It's been a pleasant break from the repetitiveness. And most important? I've been getting along with G., D. and L.! Perhaps they've given up on the fact that I will never be a full time employee, or maybe my attitude has changed and that was the problem all along. I don't know, but I am enjoying this tranquility.
I'm also in the beginning stages of enjoying a certain male's attention. I'm going to give him a pen name in this diary because I know there is a certain person who reads my diary, and I don't want them knowing who it is. Let's see.. let's call him Adam just because I've always liked that name and it's one I'll remember.
Adam is probably never going to be somebody I date seriously. I'll more than likely never end up with him. The thing is, he's somebody I enjoy talking too... someone I look forward to running into. The fact that he's taboo in so many ways only makes him more appealing. And I SO wish I could go into what makes him taboo, but like I said, I don't want a certain someone finding out who this guy is.
I'll be talking a lot more about Adam later on. I just wanted to get it out there that he's come "into my life like a brick through a window, and I cracked a smile."
There is also something else that has me feeling extremely happy lately. I've realized just how much I'm liked. Now that I'm no longer strapped listening to a certain someone telling me how much people hate me, I'm listening to these people and I'm hearing a completely different tune. For example, in a room full of 100 people, about 80 of those people adore me. But for the longest time it felt like more hated me because I was forced to constantly pay attention to the 20 people who "hate" me. The 20 people who "hate" me are all members of the same clique, they are all mostly disliked except by members of that clique, and they all bully people with their words. I'm not the only one they badmouth.
The funny thing is, no matter how hard they try to get people to dislike me, my friends remain loyal. On top of that, a certain past incident has only made me more popular, and you can't beat that. People have seriously come out of the woodwork to throw compliments at me or to ask me to go back to being who I was because they enjoyed the fact that I just said whatever I wanted too. And on top of that, I have 251 friends on My Space and 200 of them are people I know in person and am friends with because I'm so well liked. The rest are people I've met online (all whom like me) and a few bands.
It feels good knowing that I'm liked for who I am. It feels even better knowing that the people who hate me continue to only prove their jealousy. And most of all, it feels good knowing that the guy chose me because I'm nothing like those women who "hate" me.
Yes, life is good at the moment. And I'm running off to enjoy it while it lasts. Have a good one people!
Happy Birthday, Chris!!!
