Bitch Session 103
Tuesday, Feb. 05, 2008 1:38 PM

"One needs something to believe in, something for which one can have whole-hearted enthusiasm. One needs to feel that one's life has meaning, that one is needed in this world." - Hannah Senesh

I am burnt out. I am 99.9% burnt out with my life. The last 00.1% is what I'm holding onto by barely a thread. And once that little bit of thread breaks, I think you'll have to put me into one of those mental institutes.

I went to the doctor yesterday. I have a right ear infection, swollen tonsils, and a viral infection that "just needs to run it's course." I've had the viral infection since late October. Shouldn't it have run it's course by now????

On top of that, my home computer sucks ass. Not only does it continue to crash everytime I want to play a game, but now I can only log onto the damn thing under safe mode. On the bright side, my parents are going to buy me a new one. I just need to pick one out. On the not so bright side, I don't know what I'm going to do with the piece of junk Dell sold me. The Dell rep I've been dealing with is calling me on Wednesday and we're clean sweeping the computer and reinstalling windows. If this doesn't take care of my problems, he said he was going to send me a new computer. I don't know if I want another Dell computer after my experience with this one. A year and a half later and I'm pretty sick and tired of Dell. Period. Heck, I'm pretty sick and tired of computers. Period!

And on top of ALL of this, I'm having to deal with the freaking people from Chesapeake again. My god, people! I saw in some magazine that they were voted one of the top 100 companies to work for in the US. Does this magazine not realize how badly in debt the company is in? They're $10 billion dollars in debt because they keep borrowing money from the bank to pay for properties they can't afford otherwise!

And they're notorious for not paying their bills... hence, where I come in. For about a year they didn't pay their billing with us, especially on a particular lease. They told us they didn't own interest in this particular lease only to call back a few days later and say, "Oh. Well, what do you know? We do!" But by this time we had applied the amount out of their revenue check, which threw them into a tizzy. I told the lady, "Look. We pay our bills on time and in full. We are also not a bank for companies like you." So, we took them off the applied list with them promising to pay us in full and completely on time every month only to have them NOT do exactly that.

They keep giving us the run around... and I can't tell you how many times we've resent the billing to their offices only to have them ask for it again and again. The last time I wrote this person I'm stuck dealing with, I told her that perhaps they needed to work on some organizational skills within their company because they seem to have a lot of internal problems going on. I've also gone so far as to suspend their revenue checks. Since they throw a tizzy fit when we apply them, I've suspended them until we receive payment from them in full. They finally paid their billing for November and December operations, but they still owe us for October's.. and pretty soon January's is going to go out. I don't care. I'm not unsuspending their checks until I receive payment in full. If that makes me a bitch, fuck 'em. They're stressing me out for no good reason, and I hate them.

And if that wasn't enough... I am completely and totally struggling with the purpose to my existence. I mean, here I am working everyday of my life to put money into the pockets of the higher uppers. Granted, the higher uppers are my brother-in-law and my dad, but that's not the point. The point is that I seriously don't know what my purpose is in life.

And the more I think about it, the more I can't come up with a single solitary reason as to why I'm alive, except for the fact that my parents decided to copulate 7.5 months before my birth.

I'd like to delve more into this feeling but it's time to head out for my dad's birthday party. Perhaps next time.