Cheese and Whine
Thursday, Mar. 26, 2009 11:36 AM

"Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space." - Evan Esar

I'm probably going to sound like a blubbering baby in this entry. I can just see somebody saying to me, "would you like some cheese with that whine?" Next time somebody asks me that, I'm going to say that I would love some. Getting a bit toasted right now would be a pleasure, even though I gave up drinking almost a year ago.

Tomorrow I have my second fitting for my wedding dress. I was going to take the afternoon off instead of going back into work. My mom was supposed to go with me, but she and my dad suddenly decided to go to their vacation home for some R&R. My mom was supposed to babysit my niece Allie tomorrow afternoon after the fitting, but since she took off she asked me to do it.

I was so excited; SO VERY EXCITED! I haven't seen my nieces and nephew one on one in what seems like forever now. I used to babysit them all the time, but I haven't lately... not since Kent and JR came into my life, to be frank. Every time I've tried to babysit them lately my sister comes up with an excuse as to why I can't. She even has that hesitating sound in her voice before she gives me the excuse. And this time? Well, this time she decided to have Allie go with a friend of theirs instead of me.

So I wrote her a note on Facebook. I asked her what the deal was. We'll see what she answers. I told her I was really looking forward to watching Allie. Now I feel extremely distant. I feel like my family is pulling away from me just because I have a family of my own now. I hope that makes sense. Maybe it doesn't make sense at all. I'm just rambling right now and wiping tears from my eyes.

Perhaps I'm too emotional about the whole thing? But I really feel rejected, and to feel rejected by your own family? Well, that just really hurts. It really does.

I asked Angie if it had anything to do with me, Kent or JR. If it does, I wonder if she'll be bold enough to say so. I'm so hurt by her right now, I just want to call her up on the phone and tell her I don't want her to be one of my bridesmaids now. I'm not doing that, though. I know that's the childish way to handle these sort of things.

God, I wish I was at home right now. I'd crawl into the warmth of a hotter than hot shower and just let the heat take my cares away.