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Tuesday, Nov. 17, 2009 11:51 AM

�Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.� - Unknown

It's been a long while, diary. I know. But right now I need you more than ever. I have nobody to talk too about what's going on in my head. And what's going on in my head is about to drive me literally insane.

I love my husband. I want my relationship with him to work. But it takes more than love to have a successful marriage, and right now I am so stressed out. Don't get me wrong. I have no qualms with my husband. He's done a lot to make sure that we are on the same page and in this together. It's the whole step-child thing.

JR abused my kitty cat! My dear precious Haley. He dug into her chin so hard that it left deep scratches and blood marks. And Haley ran and hid from him and still hides from him underneath the bed. But who can blame her? I yelled at him. I yelled at him so loud I think the neighbors overheard everything. And now I'm expected to forgive this child for abusing my cat and I can't! I don't want too. And I can't forgive him. I just can't. And Kent wants me to adopt him and I can't do that either. I don't want to do that. I don't want to be the mother of an animal abuser/woman hater. This kid is driving me nuts and I think I'm going to fall apart soon.

His therapist told us to let it go, to move on from the incident, but I can't seem to do that. I keep looking at Haley and seeing her chin and it chokes me up inside. I'm so pissed off at myself for not being able to be there to defend her and take care of her... I just.. Ugh. I hate to say this but right now I just absolutely hate this child. I just want to smack him.

Am I losing it, or are my feelings justified? At this point, I really don't know.