I feel it in my bones.
Wednesday, Nov. 03, 2010 3:49 PM

"I see your soul. It's kinda gray. you see my heart. You look away. You see my wrist. I know your pain. I know your purpose on your plane. Don't say a last prayer because you could never find what's this life for." - Creed

My depression mounts. Everyday I have to drag myself out of bed to a job I hate and into a life I hate even more. I think I was born to be unhappy.

I try not to cry. I push all thoughts back before they can affect me, but I know I'm on the verge of breaking down. The grief inside of me is so deep that I can feel it in my bones. I ache all over, and I am soooooo tired.

Kent's cancer has spread. The tumors are still on his liver, but he now has one on the oustide of his pancreas that's blocking his pancreatic duct. This in turn is causing him to suffer from chronic pancreatitis. The increased gastrin levels in his stomach have caused two tumors to pop up there, and along his spine. He had a bone scan last week. We're just waiting for the results. The doctors up in Nebraska want to put him on chemotherapy but the insurance companies are fighting over who will foot the bill so chemo has been delayed.