I am not an accident.
Thursday, Dec. 15, 2011 2:30 PM

"I am not an accident." - The Purpose Driven Life, Chapter 2.

As promised (well, at least I think I promised it....), my thoughts on chapter 2. And, just like the quote above states, this particular chapter is telling me that I'm not accident. Nothing about my life or my existence is an accident. Everything that I am is on purpose. My parents are mine for a reason, etc. etc. etc.

This is great if you believe in fate. I used to imagine that I had a purple star above my head and that my soulmates all had purple stars above their heads. I think this idea of fate is a bit more complex than that. It's not telling me that on January 12, 2034 I'm going to be standing on the street corner where I'll come across a flying car (yes... flying because wouldn't it be something we'd have by by then? Hover cars by the year 2034... Hover because space traveling cars wouldn't work. There'd be too many wrecks!)and this... okay.. this hovering car is going to smash into me and break one of my legs and I'll be immobile for days. But what it is telling me is that I was born to my parents for a reason because God wanted me to have a very specific genetic code and only my two parents could give me that.

What about the kids who are born to crack addicts? What about the kids who are born in third world countries to parents who are suffering from AIDS? Why would God want them to be born to them in particular? Why would God choose to place a child in the care of someone who can't particularly care for that child (adoption situations not included)? It makes me think about my husband in particular. Why did God bring him into the world only to allow him to suffer the majority of his life? If he specifically chose these lives for us.. if he specifically decided to bring us into the world with the DNA of someone who can develop life threatening cancer at the age of 11... what kind of God does that make him? Why did he give me the body I am stuck with? Is there a lesson to be learned from all of this, or is it some kind of funny joke I just don't get?

The Question to Consider: "I know that God uniquely created me. What areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?"

Ha! Did he create my personality or do I have free will at all? Don't get me wrong. I love my personality. I was just kind of hoping that it was something I came to on my own - that it wasn't some preconceived notion that I had to grow into. And as for my background? I'm lucky I came from the background I did... but I'm a lucky one. Not everyone is. A lot of people don't have the great wonderful parents I do... so maybe since I was lucky enough to get the parents I have and fortunate to develop the personality I have, God decided to give me a crappy body.

Darn it, God. It's not like I want to run around wearing Dolce & Gabana or Yves St. Laurent. I don't have to be a sex symbol for the masses or starring in some international movie as the "it" girl. I just want to be thin enough to wear the clothes that are in this season. I just want to be able to move around and walk the entire length of the grocery store again. Is it some kind of "ha ha" moment to give me two good things but make the third one unachievable?

Does anybody out there have all three????? (Ferris Buehler moment) Anyone? Anyone?

ANYONE?