I can't help it. I hate him.
Tuesday, Jan. 31, 2012 5:35 PM

"This is my life. It is my one time to be me. I want to experience every good thing." - Maya Angelou

Why is it I hate my stepson so much? Today he stayed home because he's pretending to be sick. This way, he can play Runescape on the computer all day. Tomorrow he only has half a day and then he's off for two days due to school conferences.

There's something about this kid that really makes me angry inside. And not just angry but full of frustration and anxiety. It's not enough that he abused my little cats a couple of years ago (something I obviously can't let go of), or that he grabbed his father in a fit of rage and threw him down onto the cement floor in the garage cracking one of his ribs. This child is evil, but I feel like I'm the only one who sees it.

There was one day when we forgot to put money onto his lunch account. JR had to use his own money to buy lunch for the day. Earlier in the year he spent over $100 in less than 2 weeks on school lunches so we got on his ass for it. Now he tells everybody that he has to pay for his own lunches or else he'll starve because his parents don't feed him.

With Kent being on chemo and me working most of the day, we eat a lot of leftovers. JR won't touch the leftovers. Instead he tells everybody we're not feeding him and that we don't have any food in the house. I told him, "you're 13 years old. You should know how to follow directions and cook up your own can of soup, throw some cereal into a bowl or something." He'd rather be lazy. If his dad can't make it for him (which is often since Kent spends most of his time in bed and trying not to puke his guts out) then he just goes to bed without eating. I say let the kid starve if he's that lazy, but by god he doesn't have to go around telling people we don't have any food in the house to feed him with. There's food there. He just doesn't want to prepare it. To him a sandwich isn't enough for a snack or lunch. It has to be a homecooked meal with all the works, the way his Mumma (Kent's mother) makes it.

I hate him. I hate him so much I want to slap him. I don't slap him because I'm not abusive. But dang it. It would feel so good to just let me hand come into contact with his smug face.

He suffers from ODD. I also think he has bipolar disorder. I know he's a manipulative child who blames everything on everyone else. I don't like looking at him. I don't like being in the same room as him. I don't like sitting at the dinner table with him. I don't like him. I JUST don't like him at all. And I'm one of those people who used to like everybody.... until him.

I forgo going on vacations just so we don't have to take him with us. I don't want to spend hours with him in any car, or share any adventerous experiences with him. I can't wait for him to move out. I count down the days until he's 18 and out of this home. Knowing my luck, he'll be manipulating his father into letting him live with us even longer. He better not, because then I would leave them both. I really would. No question.

There's something wrong here if I'm willing to leave my husband just to get away from his kid.