Dreams
Wednesday, Feb. 22, 2012 4:58 PM

"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." - Will Rogers

Well, it's that time of the year again and just when I thought I was done with having to file Tier II's with the state, here I am having to do it again. Will I ever escape the mundane process of data entry? I don't know. I know I shouldn't complain, but the work force is definitely a very boring place. I guess you have to be lucky to end up in a job that is different everyday, instead of something that is repetitive year after year after year.

Lately all I can think about is going on vacation. ALONE. Somewhere all by myself. It will never happen though. If I took off for even one night, my husband would annoy the hell out of me with nonstop phone calls. And he's the one I need a vacation from. He's driving me insane. His son gets to go away on the weekends. I don't. And the only time I get a breather from the home is when I go to work - which isn't saying much at all.

I'd like to go see the ocean again. I feel at my best when I am near water. I love the ocean because it's always flowing. That's why, if I can't be near the ocean, I need to be near a river or a stream; something that is constantly moving. I want to be near water that is so clear you can see through it, that feels extremely cool to the touch as its ripples and waves lap at your feet. Yes, I need to be near the ocean (even if it's so deep that it's not "clear").

I had two dreams recently. They were both similar in nature. In both dreams I was on a plane traveling somewhere.

In the first dream, I passed the Statue of Liberty and then the Sears Tower in Chicago. As the pilot was making his way through some tall buildings in the Chicago area, the plane suddenly stalled out. We ended up crashing into the ocean (which oddly was near Chicago in this dream). I had a pilot's point of view as the plane was diving down towards the water, and I remember reaching back to grab Kent's hand. I saw everything as the nose of the plane went straight into the ocean's depths and we began to sink. Then suddenly I was back in passenger mode and could hear the pilot saying, "everybody stay calm. Just stay calm." The windows grew dark because we kept sinking further down and the water we were in was a dark midnight blue. Then I couldn't breathe. I kept gasping for air, but there wasn't any air in the cabin of the plane anymore. It was at that moment when I woke up from the dream choking and gasping for air.

In the second dream, I was flying over Kansas. I assume it was Kansas because it was a lot of flat farmland. Once again I was just a passenger, but when the plane stalled out and started to head towards the earth to crash, I was seeing it from the pilot's point of view again. In this dream, I was alone. Kent wasn't with me. Also, I was screaming, which I didn't do in the first dream.... and we never crashed because I woke up before the nose of the plane collided with the earth.

I haven't figured out what the dreams mean yet, and I really haven't tried to analyze them either. There was something about life changing phases in some online dream dictionary, but I don't know how much stock you can put into those things. I suppose only time will tell. That is, if the dreams were of any significance. I know I won't forget them for awhile. Feeling yourself falling and crashing and gasping for air is a bit of a startle to the system.

Anyhow.......

God, I am so tired of this existence. I'd wish for something different, but what if that wish came true and the difference was worse than the way it is now? How could I live with myself?