I once had a life, or rather, life had me. I was one among many or at least I seemed to be....


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Blowing off steam
Thursday, Mar. 22, 2012 3:04 PM

"I don't have a sense of entitlement or that I deserve this. You'd be surprised at the lack of competition between nominees - I think a lot of it's imposed from the outside. Can I have my champagne now?" - Cate Blanchett

I'm becoming quite frustrated at work at the moment and I don't know why. I think I'm finally discovering what a control freak I really am. I keep having to say, "This isn't important. It's not worth stressing over." But I can't help myself. I keep mentally obsessing over the little things.

What are these little things? One of them is that I have to lug everything back and forth between my dad's office and this big common area table where I do my work. And that includes my printer. I should just be happy I have a job! But no..... I'm obsessing over how tired I am of lugging things back and forth at the beginning of the day and the end of the day. And I have to do this for 5 more months. My obsession? The fact that I want my own little area and a desk and just a small place to put my stuff and not have to lug the freaking printing around. I think that's my problem. It's lugging the printer back and forth. Gee, am I ever the pessimistic complainer.

The other thing I keep obsessing over is the fact that my dad is creating a new water hauling company. He wants J. to oversee things while I do all the billing and accounts receivable. Well, J. created a quickbooks for the company on her company's server when I work off a completely different server. And I can't access the quickbooks... and I just feel like I'm losing control. And I don't want to feel this way because it's not like I'm entitled to be in control of all the situations... and I shouldn't be obsessing over it. I shouldn't be!

Okay. I feel better now. I needed to get that off my chest obviously because once I "voiced" it, I suddenly feel calmer and less agitated by these two small things completely out of my control.

Now if only I could feel the same way about the lousy mess my house is in and Kent and my financial situation...........

In 19 Seconds

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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...

- Dr. Seuss