I once had a life, or rather, life had me. I was one among many or at least I seemed to be....


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Day 1 of my Transformation
Friday, Mar. 08, 2013 7:09 PM

"When we quit thinking primarily about ourselves and our own self-preservation, we undergo a truly heroic transformation of consciousness." - Joseph Campbell

First off, I want to thank everyone for the kind notes they leave me. They have helped me more than you'll ever know.

So, I've been thinking about the quote from the last journal entry, the one about how you have to imagine who you want to be and start sculpting yourself into that person, and I've decided that I'm going to do just that. After all, I do have it in my power to change these aspects of myself that I don't like. I might as well give it a go, right?

Today was my first day of transformation. I woke up today and decided that instead of throwing my hair back into a ponytail like I always do, I'm going to do my hair up differently. This has nothing to do with the fact that for the last two nights I've randomly chopped off an inch here and an inch there. My hair was down to my butt. It needed to be cut (not trying to rhyme on purpose here!). Now it's just past my shoulders. It feels so light and airy and fresh. So today I pulled my hair to the left side and had a side ponytail. No, not like the side ponytails people wore in the 80's. The scrunchy was below my left ear and my hair hung down my left shoulder. Yes, it may have still been pulled back into some kind of ponytail, but it was different for me. A major change in appearance. I have to thank my 13 year old niece for this inspiration. We went to dinner the other night and her hair was done up like that and I thought, "you know, I can do that too." Tomorrow I'm going to braid it.

I stopped off at my grandma's today and took her to work with me. I didn't have much to do today and I've wanted her to see the new offices. Plus, I haven't seen her in awhile and I've missed her. So this is another part of my transformation. I know she isn't going to be around forever, so I want to spend as much time with her as possible (even if it's just to call her on the phone and chat at least once a day). We had a good time and she said she loved my office the best. That made my day.

Once I got home, I thought to myself, "Now, Jessica... you dream a lot. You imagine yourself as someone else quite a bit. What can you do to become that person and who exactly is that person?"

This is what I've come up with so far:

Who exactly do I want to be?

1. I want to be someone who does something kind for someone at least once a day. A random act of kindness, if you will. Does this mean it has to happen everyday? No. But I'd like to give it a try. Kent does a lot of random acts of kindness for people and he's sick... so what is keeping me from doing the same? It doesn't even have to be a huge thing. It just has to be something.

2. I have always wanted to be a runner. Now this one is going to take a lot of work on my part, but if I start now, I think eventually I can become the runner I imagine in my mind.

3. I want to wake up earlier and be more professional at work. I want to get to the point where I dress like a professional, look like a professional and act like a professional. Now that I actually have a job I love, I think this one is going to be easy.

How can I obtain these things?

1. Simple. Wake up, do something kind for someone or something.

2. Work very hard to improve my body and lung capacity. This means I need to get up everyday and work out. Yes, work out every single day for awhile. Work out. Work out. Work out. And...

3. Wake up earlier, dress nicer, do my hair up differently each day, and put in a full day's work.

This is just the beginning, people. It may not seem like a lot, but these three things are going to start off a transformation in myself that is huge. And once I have completed the task of improving my overall appearance and attitude, I think the rest will fall into place.

Tomorrow begins a new day. Let's hope it also starts out with the beginnings of a new me.

In 19 Seconds

Last Five Entries:

I Hate Mondays - Monday, Dec. 10, 2018
Just FYI - Monday, Dec. 03, 2018
Comfortably Numb - Tuesday, Nov. 27, 2018
PFA's and Finding Peace - Monday, Aug. 27, 2018
I didn't ask for all this drama! - Tuesday, Jul. 31, 2018


Other Diaries:

badbadzoot | callmepearl | candikurlz | catsoul
cocoabean | curious-me | illusionless | kenny-loo
musikoid | shewholies | starkitten | xorbit | Zenayda
jnw77 <-- My old Diary


You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...

- Dr. Seuss