I once had a life, or rather, life had me. I was one among many or at least I seemed to be....

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I Hate Mondays
Monday, Dec. 10, 2018 4:29 PM

I have to be alone very often. I'd be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That's how I refuel. - Audrey Hepburn

As you know, I've been doodling around with CSS and HTML for my diary page. Sadly, what looks good on my browser at home doesn't look very good at all on my browser at work even though I use Firefox on both computers. The worst thing is, I've spent hours working on it at home and I'm tired of messing with it. However, I can't leave it like this so it's back to the grinding board for me. I wonder if I made sure it looked good at work, if it would look good at home. I just have to figure out how to make sure the items don't stack on top of each other. Either way, I will get this page fixed!

In other news:

I had a horrible time waking up today. Even after I crawled out of bed, it took forever for my eyes to focus. I made myself one of those Michelina's Meals and sat at the island for a good twenty minutes before I could see well enough to drive to work.

As I sat at the island, my scaredy cat Comet came upstairs and was nosing around the kitchen. She even locked eyes with my mom's cat Tinky and they just stared at each other. It wasn't until Comet looked over and saw Haley that she freaked out. She ended up hissing at Haley and darting back downstairs. I was impressed. Not only at the fact that Comet came upstairs and meandered around but that Tinky didn't go after her and try to attack the poor thing. The cat fights have gotten way less, but they still happen. It's usually Haley attacking Tinky, mostly because Haley thinks she owns the entire house now. She's even been eating out of Tinky's food bowl and drinking up all of Tinky's water. By the time my new house is built, Comet will probably be upstairs hanging out all the time, too. I told my mom we needed to buy the Feliway plug-in months ago, but it wasn't until she took Tinky to the vet that she was like, "hey.. the vet said we should get Feliway but the plug-ins." Makes me want to slam my head into the desk!

I don't know if it's because it's a Monday or if I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. All I know is that my frustration levels are sky high today. Mostly it's because of Kent. We were having a completely normal conversation trying to figure things out financially and then he started spouting off cuss words and a lot of hateful slurs about life and people. I'm pretty sure he does this to piss me off because he loves to argue. I also think it's because he's been drinking and the alcohol finally hit him about the time he started going off. When he gets drunk, his self-esteem goes downhill and all he can do is go on and on like, "woe is me." I am so tired of dealing with his emotions, especially since he won't get help. He has the power to do so. He chooses not to better his circumstances. There's always an excuse, and I'm in no mood to hear it.

I wonder if I used to be like that, always coming up with excuses. I can't even begin to describe my frame of mind anymore. I often wonder if it's because I'm finally an adult, because as soon as I start to feel emotional, I ask myself, "are you just feeling sorry for yourself or is this emotion legit?" Over 90% of the time, I'm just feeling sorry for myself so I talk myself out of the emotion. For some reason, I feel like Kent should rationalize well enough to talk himself out of those emotions, too. When he can't, I just get fed up with him. That's not right either, because he has every right to those emotions. He's allowed to choose throwing a pity party. I just don't want to be attending the pity party with him.

I was going to write more, but I am running late for dinner. As mentioned above, I will get this page fixed so it flows right, soon. - Even if it takes changing the page completely. I've been going to W3 Schools and working off their templates and then revamping them a bit, but maybe I need to just pick one of their templates and stick with it. I wish someone out there still did Diaryland templates because it would make my life a lot easier. Most of the links on google go to a page that's no longer there, and the ones that are there, it's hard to see the set-up because they have the image so small. Oh, well. I will figure this out in due time. Until next time.....

In 19 Seconds

Last Five Entries:

Life Update - Tuesday, May. 21, 2019
I had an epiphany! - Wednesday, Jan. 16, 2019
2019 Resolutions - Wednesday, Jan. 09, 2019
To New Beginnings - Tuesday, Jan. 08, 2019
My Christmas Weekend 2018 - Wednesday, Dec. 26, 2018

Other Diaries:

candikurlz | catsoul | cocoabean | curious-me
illusionless | kenny-loo | musikoid | poetinthesky
starkitten01 | Zenayda | jnw77 <-- My old Diary

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...

- Dr. Seuss