I once had a life, or rather, life had me. I was one among many or at least I seemed to be....

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Friday, Apr. 19, 2013 2:37 PM

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” ― Bob Marley

The older I get, the more I see my mother in myself. Today, instead of getting to work on my job related stuff, I went off in a completely different direction and had to water the plants. Then I had to touch up the paint on the wall where we hung up a new picture yesterday. After that, I had to read up on some articles that had nothing to do with absolutely anything important. At least in-between all of this, I managed to start posting up January's books for my dad's trust. I did accomplish one small thing. Ha ha.

My mother told me today on the phone that I do more organizing than I do working. I told her, "but I love organizing. It makes me feel good." She told me, "if your dad ever complains, just tell him 'you can have the work done my way, or I can be like Greg.'" Greg is the office hoarder back at the old place. His hoarding is so bad that you can't even walk into his office let alone see him on the other side of his desk.

Even now as I write this, I am distracted by going back and forth between posting, listening to music, and looking for a good TV show to watch now that I'm the only one left at the office. I love it when I'm the only one here. It's about the only time in my life besides driving in my car when I'm by myself and have all the time in the world to just be. Any other second in my life and I'm constantly surrounded by people. When I'm at home and the others are asleep, it's Comet and Haley who are on top of me every single second. I don't mind this at all. I love my cats. I'm just saying that this is the only time of the day when I'm completely alone - something I crave sometimes because I love my solitude.

I've decided to revamp my other blog - the one that was meant to be just random articles about opinionated stuff. You know how Chuck Lorre does those things at the end of every episode he produces? I want to do something like that. I just need to come up with a nifty title like he has. Right now, I posted my first one (something I wrote ages ago about Walmart) and titled it #100. I was going to start with #1 but Gilly said I need to start with #100 because then it seems like I've written a lot more than I have. I was like, "fair enough. Sounds good to me." I've been sitting here contemplating about what #102 should be about. I have come up with one idea and will most likely get started on it once I'm done posting this. For anybody interested in reading it (which I hope to post to it often but who knows with how scatter brained I can be) it's at In 19 Seconds... .

Yesterday we were playing WoW and Gilly made a comment about how girls who play WoW aren't good looking. Tara and I jumped his ass on that one right away. He was like, "Okay. Okay. Present company excluded. Geesh!" Then Rocky was like, "I think you're beautiful, Tara." So I was like, "wait a second. What about me?" And he was like, "You're like my older sister. I can't look at you in that way!" Then I argued, "well, I think my sisters are beautiful and my brother is handsome but that doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to them." To which he replied, "you know very well you're good looking. You don't need anybody to tell you that." Then he said, "And you're an extremely good writer. I don't know anybody who can write like you do." It felt good to be complimented like that. Sometimes people forget that even people like me who are overly confident and normally don't care what other people think sometimes need to hear words of encouragement and other niceties, too.

Where was Mikey in all of this? He wasn't online yesterday. He was on his way to Gilly's house for the weekend. (They're brothers.) We had asked where Mikey was and why he wasn't online like normal and Gilly shocked me with his response. Not much shocks me, but this did. Ha ha. "He's probably busy sexting Jess." This all happened after he tried to convince me to send him naked photos of myself to "prove" that I'm a girl. I was like, "Mr. Gilbert.... You're just using that as an excuse to see me naked because you're hot for me." He just laughed, but he didn't deny it. I think he has a crush on me. He keeps calling me honey, sweetie, baby, etc. etc. etc. when he texts me. I'll text him one word, usually "Gilly...." and he'll respond with, "yes, baby?" or something like that. Then again, some people who are really good friends call each other pet names like that. At least I've seen it on TV before.

Michael and I have a strange relationship. He's like the kid on the playground who pulls your pigtails because he likes you. He's constantly "pulling my pigtails." Everybody's always like, "you two just need to go get a room and get it over with." They only see one side of Michael. When they're not around he's completely different with me. He still teases me to no extent, but he's sweet about it instead of just down right ornery. Does it drive me crazy? It used too. A year ago he made me mad because he wouldn't take things more seriously. That's when I fell into distancing myself from him and suddenly found myself latched onto Frank. Now that I've experienced what its like to be latched onto someone who seems to take things a bit too seriously, I'm more content with going along with the flow where Michael is concerned. Don't get me wrong. I'm not looking for a serious die hard relationship with Mikey or anything. I'm in no hurry to rush out and jump into the arms of a younger man (and he is much younger than me - but he doesn't seem to care that he is). I just enjoy our bantering and flirting and the overall friendship we've developed. It's a great break from the life I'm stuck in at the moment. Besides, Gilly and Mike are Native American and they wish to only marry within their ethnicity to carry their race/tribe forward.

I want to end up with someone who wants to travel the world with me. I'd like to see as much of the world as I can see before I pass away. Life may hinder me from seeing all of it, but that's okay. As long as I get to see as much as I possibly can, I will die a happy woman. I'm seriously thinking up a bucket list of things I want to learn and do. Not just some random bucket list that people make up just to have a bucket list like I've done in the past. I want a bucket list that means something - one that I will set out to accomplish and complete. Not just anything can be on this list. It has to be things that I absolutely feel the desire and need to do and know. If I ever figure out what should be on the list, I'll create it here.

For now, it's time I better get some work done. This weekend I'll read and catch up on everybody's diaries. Until then, have a great weekend!

In 19 Seconds

Last Five Entries:

Life Update - Tuesday, May. 21, 2019
I had an epiphany! - Wednesday, Jan. 16, 2019
2019 Resolutions - Wednesday, Jan. 09, 2019
To New Beginnings - Tuesday, Jan. 08, 2019
My Christmas Weekend 2018 - Wednesday, Dec. 26, 2018

Other Diaries:

candikurlz | catsoul | cocoabean | curious-me
illusionless | kenny-loo | musikoid | poetinthesky
starkitten01 | Zenayda | jnw77 <-- My old Diary

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...

- Dr. Seuss