I once had a life, or rather, life had me. I was one among many or at least I seemed to be....

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Happy 33rd, Scotty!
Monday, Apr. 22, 2013 5:41 PM

“The way to find a needle in a haystack is to sit down.” ― Beryl Markham, West with the Night

I've decided to create a list of all the books that I've read. This is insane, I know, especially since I've read so many books. I have to do this, though. There are so many books on the Kindle Fire that I've read already that I can't keep track of them all. After browsing through the books the other day and downloading what looked interesting, I found out once I started reading the book that I've read the book already. This happened quite a few times, believe it or not. So... instead of having this happen to me over and over again, I'm going to create a list of books I've read. Maybe I'll make a check list. This way I can add the books I want to read, and as I go, I can mark them off.

Today is my baby brother's 33rd birthday. My dad came into the office with Scotty on the other end of the line, put him on speaker phone, and we sang him Happy Birthday. He's back in Boston now and said he didn't have any trouble getting back home after the bombings. He did say his plane flew in and landed right next to Air Force One, which is pretty cool.

I still can't believe the bombings happened. I had a strange feeling that if anything this horrific happened to our country again, Boston would be the next target. Sadly, if it happens again, and it's bound to happen again with the world we're living in today, the next place they attack is going to be someplace like Chicago or Seattle. It seems these things only happen in the bigger cities - usually along the coastline. Chicago is a prime target because it's the mecca of the midwest, and what better way to make a country feel vulnerable than to attack it right in the middle. Plus, it's close to the Canadian border and it's right along the shoreline of one of the Great Lakes.

Kent went to the doctor on Friday. It turns out he's down 20 pounds since his last visit, which was just about a week ago. His cheeks are starting to sink in so he's beginning to look like death warmed over again. While talking to Scotty on the phone, my dad mentioned Kent's weight loss and said, "We'll see if he makes it through this treatment or not." I tend to have an optimistic viewpoint when it comes to these things. With so many ups and downs and roller coaster rides, I can't allow myself to imagine the inevitable because who is to say he won't make it through this time like he always has? Who is to say that this is the last time? If it happens, it happens. I can't live my life worrying that it's going to happen so I'm basically in a state of optimistic denial. That's what I've decided to call it. Optimistic Denial. It has a nice ring to it.

Kent did talk to me today about his mother. She's a drama seeker and she's trying to stir up trouble between the three of us in our household. I wonder how she feels that we're not falling for her mind games this time around? Needless to say, I told him that if his mother hadn't played mind games with his first wife Jenny, they'd still be together. He said, "yes, we probably would be, and you and I would never have been. However, I'm happy that we have been." I said, "but I'm not happy." He looked at me with a hurt look on his face so I followed it with, "you drink too much and you smoke. Plus your child is more than I can handle. I'm sorry if that hurts you, but its the truth." He said, "I'm going to do everything in my power to make you happy even if it takes the rest of my life." I didn't respond to him. After all, I'm more than ready to end the relationship and divorce him. Plus, he makes a lot of empty promises that he never keeps. It just pains me to see him so sick and to know that I'm really the only one there for him.

That's really all I have to update for now. Makes me wonder why I even made an entry, but I felt like writing and now I'm done. :-)

In 19 Seconds

Last Five Entries:

Life Update - Tuesday, May. 21, 2019
I had an epiphany! - Wednesday, Jan. 16, 2019
2019 Resolutions - Wednesday, Jan. 09, 2019
To New Beginnings - Tuesday, Jan. 08, 2019
My Christmas Weekend 2018 - Wednesday, Dec. 26, 2018

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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...

- Dr. Seuss