I once had a life, or rather, life had me. I was one among many or at least I seemed to be....


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I am so boring.
Tuesday, May. 14, 2013 3:15 PM

�Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.� ― C.G. Jung

Boy, have I been busy lately. Doing what? That's the funny thing. Not very much. Ha ha! Just catching up on some of my favorite TV shows, and, of course, playing computer games with the brothers.

What sucks lately is that my eyes are itchy from allergies, my ankles are itchy from swelling, and all of this itchiness makes the rest of my body itchy. I've been scratching like crazy, but there is no end in sight to this misery. I've been scratching my legs so much, I think they're raw. Literally. I feel like I could scream from the need to scratch, but that won't do much good now, would it?

I really have nothing to write about lately. I'm leading a very boring life right now. I will say this: I was extremely disappointed in who was picked to play the mother in How I Met Your Mother. Why? I don't know. The last 9 or whatever years have been such a built up to this woman that it felt like such a let down when she wasn't what I was expecting. Granted, I did expect a brunette (Ted once said that if he had married Sarah Chalke's character, the kids would have turned out with blonde hair). I did expect her to have blue eyes (Ted has brown but the two kids on the couch have blue - at least the girl does). But I also expected someone... well, someone less plain, I suppose. I'm not saying that the woman playing the part is ugly or anything. She's not. She's just not what I was expecting. I was thinking of someone more... glamorous? I don't know what I truly expected. I just know I was let down. :-(

What else is there to talk about? I seem a bit obsessed with wills and what to leave behind lately. I think that's because I'm surrounded by so much sickness that I'm now morbidly obsessed with my own demise. I keep telling people what I want left to whom. The other worrisome thing is that I also keep writing Kent's... not his obituary but his.. why am I drawing a blank on this? Probably from lack of sleep. I keep writing it though. In my head. Over and over again what I would say if I had to stand up in front of a crowd and speak of his life.

Thursday was JR's birthday. He's now 15 years old. Friday marked the one year anniversary of his mother's death. Things went smoothly, though Kent was worried JR would do something drastic and idiotic. My family took JR out to Longhorn Steakhouse for supper to celebrate his birthday - something Kent's family seems to avoid. Major difference between our two lives.. mine celebrates life, his doesn't. My grandma, Aunt Janna, her boyfriend Jeff, and my two parents were there. Pretty good times.

Then on Friday we had an office party. Brian grilled up some fajita meat and we had fajitas. Sure, it was the 10th of the month, but who said you had to celebrate Cinco De Mayo on the 5th?

Other than that, no qualms here. No bitch sessions to type out in angst, no dilemma to solve mentally by psychoanalyzing myself through word form... Just thought I'd toss out something so people know I'm still alive out here.

I bought myself a Sony Vaio for home. I'm going to take a baseball bat to the computer Ribbit Computers sold me. Not literally. I don't own a bat, and I'm too frugal to go buy one. The new computer should show up tomorrow. Also, I bought myself a pair of $275 sunglasses. Yeah... my jaw dropped when I was paying for them. They're Prada, so what did I expect? They fit great and they look awesome, but damn. Happy Mother's Day to me, I guess. Kent tried to hold it over my head and I said, "you know, if you can spend over 3k a year on cigarettes, then I can spend $275 for a pair of sunglasses that will last me 10 years." That shut him up. As far as he knows, my mother bought me the computer. Yeah, new computer... $275 sunglasses.. I sound very frugal, don't I? Oh, and my mom bought me a new ipod. YAY! Anyhow... Kent... he drives me nuts. I really want to bang my head into a wall and give myself a concussion. Maybe faint and die in some hospital somewhere just to escape him. But no... this is my lot in life. My parents, whom I respect beyond respect, insist I stay with him in case he does die soon. They don't want me to feel guilty or some bullshit like that. I've decided it's not their choice to make, but when the time is right, I will pack up my crap and leave myself. It's really the only way to get away from him. I'm going to have to be the one to up and leave.

Anyhow, I'm going to be busy the next few days or so. My guild on WoW is putting together a raid group. We start at the beginning of June or end of May. We have so many people interested in it that we actually have enough people to form 3 raid groups. I have no idea how I'm going to handle this, so tonight, I need to have a meeting with everybody to figure out how to go about satisfying everybody.

On the other hand, JG's raid group seems to be slowly falling apart. I feel only slightly bad for them, given the fact that the last 2 weeks I raided with them they made me feel like shit. The last week, especially, was horrendous. Frank, if you're reading this, you were quite the asshole. Now that I can look back on things with a level head and no emotion at all, I can say that. And let's face it. A small part of me is dancing on the inside knowing what they worked so hard for is falling apart. I just have to keep it in check because I don't want Karma coming back and hitting me full force for being happy about someone else's misery. Oh, and Frank, if you're reading this, spamming in trade chat for members is making your guild a laughing stock. Just thought I'd warn you.

Well, I am off so I can finish up watching Hannibal and then head home for the day.

In 19 Seconds

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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...

- Dr. Seuss