Ah, my throat!
Thursday, Oct. 17, 2013 12:34 PM
“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning to do afterward.” ― Kurt Vonnegut
Ah, if only I could be more like Kurt Vonnegut was. I seem to take my frustration out verbally, and then I cry myself to sleep or climb into the shower and ball my eyes out. Granted, I haven't done that in a good month, but I really really really want to.
All month I've been a mean bitch. I know this because everybody keeps asking me why I'm mad at them. I keep telling them I'm not mad at them, but since they keep asking me if I am, then I can only guess that my attitude is horrendous lately. It's probably because I haven't been taking my "dope me up and make me happy" pills.
My right tonsil hurts today. I hope I'm not getting tonsillitis again. That's the last thing I need on my plate, specially since this weekend is my 36th birthday. Yep. I am turning 36 on Saturday. It feels like just yesterday I was 26. From the ages of 16 to 26, I felt like I was in a fog, as if the years all blended together as one lump sum. That's how I feel about the ages of 26 to 36, as if its been one long never ending year. And to think that in 4 years time, I'll be turning 40!
And I have yet to have any children of my own. Why I feel like I need to have children is beyond me. It's not like having them will suddenly make me feel complete. I feel like my window is running out to have them, and I think that's why I have such an urgency to reproduce... because if I don't do it now, it will eventually be too late. Or something along those lines.
Anyhow, I am off for now. I have a ton of work to catch up on and a tonsil to baby.