I once had a life, or rather, life had me. I was one among many or at least I seemed to be....

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Ah, my throat!
Thursday, Oct. 17, 2013 12:34 PM

“Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning to do afterward.” ― Kurt Vonnegut

Ah, if only I could be more like Kurt Vonnegut was. I seem to take my frustration out verbally, and then I cry myself to sleep or climb into the shower and ball my eyes out. Granted, I haven't done that in a good month, but I really really really want to.

All month I've been a mean bitch. I know this because everybody keeps asking me why I'm mad at them. I keep telling them I'm not mad at them, but since they keep asking me if I am, then I can only guess that my attitude is horrendous lately. It's probably because I haven't been taking my "dope me up and make me happy" pills.

My right tonsil hurts today. I hope I'm not getting tonsillitis again. That's the last thing I need on my plate, specially since this weekend is my 36th birthday. Yep. I am turning 36 on Saturday. It feels like just yesterday I was 26. From the ages of 16 to 26, I felt like I was in a fog, as if the years all blended together as one lump sum. That's how I feel about the ages of 26 to 36, as if its been one long never ending year. And to think that in 4 years time, I'll be turning 40!

And I have yet to have any children of my own. Why I feel like I need to have children is beyond me. It's not like having them will suddenly make me feel complete. I feel like my window is running out to have them, and I think that's why I have such an urgency to reproduce... because if I don't do it now, it will eventually be too late. Or something along those lines.

Anyhow, I am off for now. I have a ton of work to catch up on and a tonsil to baby.

In 19 Seconds

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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...

- Dr. Seuss