I once had a life, or rather, life had me. I was one among many or at least I seemed to be....


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Thursday, Jul. 17, 2014 2:29 PM

I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then. ― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

I think I'm butter, 'cause I'm on a roll!!! Okay. So that was lame. Ha! But, no. Seriously. I have read 63 books so far this year - and I'm slowly, but surely, making progress through this fairy tale book. I'm currently reading Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland series. I just finished the first book and will start Through the Looking Glass next. I wanted to read the fairy tales and this book from their main sources and without any editing or re-adaptations from random people like Disney. It's amazing how wrong a lot of the fairy tales are because of Disney and the like. For instance, I had no idea that it wasn't "Little Red Riding Hood" but "Little Red Cap," instead. I had no idea that Cinderella's "fairy godmother" was actually her dead mother, and that she wore gold slippers. Just little things like that make a huge difference and I'm glad I'm reading the originals.

I think next I may start on reading all the classics that I haven't read yet. I was thinking maybe Anna Karenina or something. I'd go off somebodies 100 greatest novels to read before you die list but that's all just opinion. I suppose I could look at all the lists and choose the ones that show up the most often. We shall see.

I was playing WoW last night and, since I'm a "list" whore and love to mark things off, I am always going after achievements. I decided to go after reputation achievements and took a stop in one of the old raids. What should happen but a mount drops. The Mount! The mount that so many people go after that are big time players. The mount that only has a 1% drop chance.... yes, the onyx drake.

I just spent about an hour and a half creating a list of books to read. Talk about getting sidetracked.

I realized last night that I don't have a passion anymore. I used to be passionate about writing. I'd write constantly. Poems mostly. When's the last time I wrote a poem? Over a year ago now, I think. They used to pour out of me. Then again, mentally, I was in another place. I feel like a part of me is missing when I think back on how I used to think. Really, it's like running around in your own make-believe world where butterflies and daisies float all around you.. only to one day find the butterflies and daisies are gone because the fog around your brain has lifted and disappeared. While I know I'm better off outside of the fog - and perhaps more mature - I miss being underneath that fog. I miss the butterflies and daisies. I miss shooting out poems left and right. I miss the passion. I miss that euphoric feeling you get when you've finished something that will forever be a part of you. I miss falling so deeply into a trance that the whole world disappears around you, and when you come back to reality, you realize you were somewhere else completely.

I wonder if I'll ever experience that again. I wonder how to get that back.

In 19 Seconds

Last Five Entries:

I Hate Mondays - Monday, Dec. 10, 2018
Just FYI - Monday, Dec. 03, 2018
Comfortably Numb - Tuesday, Nov. 27, 2018
PFA's and Finding Peace - Monday, Aug. 27, 2018
I didn't ask for all this drama! - Tuesday, Jul. 31, 2018


Other Diaries:

badbadzoot | callmepearl | candikurlz | catsoul
cocoabean | curious-me | illusionless | kenny-loo
musikoid | shewholies | starkitten | xorbit | Zenayda
jnw77 <-- My old Diary


You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...

- Dr. Seuss