I once had a life, or rather, life had me. I was one among many or at least I seemed to be....


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38 and counting...
Wednesday, Oct. 21, 2015 4:18 PM

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape
'Cause I'm not fine at all.

- Amnesia, 5 Seconds of Summer

I was up. Then I was down. And then I settled somewhere in between for a couple of hours. I asked the doctor for some Xanax today. I should get the bottle sometime tomorrow or the next day. Two more years until I'm 40 and I don't want to spend them on a roller coaster ride to nowhere.

I turned 38 two days ago (the 19th). There are lists all over the internet. 101 Things to do Before You Turn 40; 40 Things a Woman Should Do Before They Turn 40; The Before You're 40 Bucket list; and the list goes on an on.

Skimming through the lists and they are extremely similar with slight variances. Here is a list of things I have done to date:

1. Visit another country. To date, I have only been outside of the US once and that was to Canada.

2. Attend a concert. I have attended lots of concerts of great bands and musicians, but I have yet to see my two favorite bands in concert. O.A.R I still have a chance to see. Matchbox 20 may not be so simple.

3. See a Broadway play. My brother Scott, Tom and I went to see Rent on Broadway. I have also seen The Music Man, Wicked, and The Lion King but not on Broadway itself.

4. Touch an ocean. I've been to the Pacific and Atlantic oceans more than once. I make sure each time I'm close by, I touch the water at least once.

5. Play an instrument. I'm best at the recorder, but if I took the time, I could strum out a song or two on the old piano. I did attempt guitar lessons but I didn't stick with it.

6. Learn another language. Hablo espanol muy bien, pero hablo espanol un poco.

7. Visit all 50 states. I only have 8 states left to go (Alaska, Hawaii, Idaho, North Dakota, South Dakota, Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Montana).

8. Go on a road tip longer than 1,000 miles. Done and done. More than once. Will definitely do it again someday.

9. Write. This one covers all those numbers that say write a short story or a poem, or even write in a journal or keep a blog. I have done all of those things.

10. Get an education. Finished high school then university. Learned the facts of life and found I could survive a hard knock life. Think that pretty much covers it.

I'll stop at 10. There are some things I'll never do. Like, I'll never read the Bible from cover to cover. I may never have children (and I'm finding out that more and more people choose to not have kids). I'll more than likely never sky dive, go mountain climbing, travel to another country as a missionary, or go scuba diving. But I have done small things that are part of my own personal bucket list. I've caught a fish (a very hefty catfish) and threw it back, and I tried sushi and I think it sucks. As for what else to do with myself before I turn 40? Well, I guess the rest is still unwritten.

In 19 Seconds

Last Five Entries:

I Hate Mondays - Monday, Dec. 10, 2018
Just FYI - Monday, Dec. 03, 2018
Comfortably Numb - Tuesday, Nov. 27, 2018
PFA's and Finding Peace - Monday, Aug. 27, 2018
I didn't ask for all this drama! - Tuesday, Jul. 31, 2018


Other Diaries:

badbadzoot | callmepearl | candikurlz | catsoul
cocoabean | curious-me | illusionless | kenny-loo
musikoid | shewholies | starkitten | xorbit | Zenayda
jnw77 <-- My old Diary


You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...

- Dr. Seuss