My 4th of July
Thursday, Jul. 05, 2007 1:30 AM
Bonnie: Somebody save him, he can't swim!
Peter: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick.
Lois: Peter, he's a paraplegic!
Peter: That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe, kick!
- Family Guy
I found myself spending the 4th of July with my baby brother and his boyfriend in the small town my parents live in. The moment I reached my parents house, I couldn't drive up into the driveway or find a spot on the side of the road. The next door neighbors had the entire block covered by their friends vehicles. For some reason, they assumed that with my parents out of town and Scott and Tom visiting a friend for a few hours, this gave them the right to park about ten vehicles on our driveway. To make matters worse, it was pouring outside. Literally.
I tried to flag down a woman to find out whose cars were in our driveway but she ignored me like I didn't exist. I screamed, "Ma'am. Hey, Ma'am. Hello!?" She ignored my attempts to get her attention so I finally screamed at her, "Does anybody in this town have any respect?" Then I muttered bitch under my breath and stormed over next door. I found three men drinking outside. I asked them if they knew who owned the cars on our driveway. They told me they did not. I made the comment, "Well, if you find out, please ask them to remove their cars from my driveway. My family would like to be able to park our cars on our own land."
I was a bitch. I know this. But that lady pissed me off, the pouring rain didn't help matters, and all I wanted was to park on my own driveway without there being a hassle.
About ten minutes later, all the cars were gone. Good thing too.. Scott and Tom had just arrived home and needed a spot to park his car. I told them what had happened, and they insisted I shouldn't feel bad. After all, it's our driveway. We have more right to park on it than some random strangers who didn't even ask to use it.
As for the rain? Well, the rain here hasn't quit since May except for maybe a day or two of reprieve. That's probably why 17 counties have been slated as disaster relief areas due to the excessive flooding. But this rain.. well, it died down a lot and it didn't seem to stop the idiots next door from blasting off about 800 fireworks directly in front of our house. I can't count how many times I had to clutch my hands and pray they wouldn't burn the house down. (This is why my mother leaves every 4th of July. She doesn't want to be there in case the house does burn down.) Thank God for the rain. I'm pretty certain they would have done just that if the cottonwood tree hadn't been soaking wet.
I didn't want to be a complete and total bitch, and I did want to have some fun watching the fireworks. It's just that one of the fireworks hit Tom and almost burned him. Last year, the neighbors did injure someone. The people across the street were in their backyard when one of Doug's fireworks flew over their house and burnt their grandmother. The burn was so bad that these people filed a restraining order against Doug hoping the city would prevent him from doing this again. It didn't seem to stop Doug and the neighbors are now moving.
It would be one thing if they just set off normal neighborhood fireworks in front of our homes. No.. these people set off the kind that fly up into the air and explode in a multitude of colors. I don't know how they get away with it within city limits. I think they should move their show to their backyard or something. People can't even get in and out of the neighborhood very well because of this little shin-dig they throw every year.
And while I'm at it.. I wish Doug would remove his crap from my parents' shed. He didn't even ask them if he could store his crap in there. He just came over one day and threw his crap in there. My parents are wimpy. They don't want to piss anybody off or lose the man who mows their lawn. I say fuck him. Once someone knows they can walk all over you, they'll continue to do it again and again.
They need more of a backbone.
And I need to get laid.
