One month to go......
Monday, Apr. 30, 2012 4:03 PM

"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six." - Yogi Berra

As of today, we only have one month to go. One month and JR moves in with his mother!!! I'm so excited, I could burst from the inside out. I keep mentally counting down the days, just waiting for this to happen. A part of me fears it won't, as if the moment it's supposed to happen, something in the universe will make it all disappear and I will lose all hope and faith in any sort of future.

Kent can't wait either. He feels guilty that he's as excited as I am, but after what JR has done to him... who wouldn't be excited about the idea of a stress free environment and no fear of emotional or physical abuse? Okay. Maybe not a completely stress free environment since we still have Kent's cancer to deal with, but at least 1/3 of his stress is going out the door soon only to return every other weekend.

I don't know why I say 1/3 of his stress. He keeps telling me I don't stress him out so I can't really be 1/3 of his stress, as well. I think I see it like this.... the cancer is 1/3 (maybe even possibly more than that) and his mother is the other 1/3. How is she the other 1/3? Well, I never thought I wouldn't get along with my mother-in-law, but it's happening.

Here's the reasons why we don't get along right now:

1. She blames me for JR being "sent off" to his mother's, even though it was Kent's decision alone.

2. Because she blames me for this, she attacked me in my house two weeks ago. She came over on a Sunday, and while I was talking about the weather, the moment Kent left the room she ganged up on me. I told her I was tired (what's new about that? I mean, I have a dysfunctional thyroid, I'm stressed out beyond belief, and I'm depressed). She said, "Well, at least most of your stress will be gone soon." This was her implying JR moving in with his mother. And it wasn't what she said that was so wrong, it was how she said it. Malicious, vindictive, and crude.

3. She then proceeded to gang up on me because Kent and I want JR's hair cut short (mostly because he won't maintain it and he's starting to look real trashy. Note: Long hair does not mean someone is trashy. It's the fact that he won't even shampoo it or comb it!!! Not once. Ever! And it drives me nuts because that grosses me out....). She was like, "it's his hair. He should have it however he wants it." I said, "this is our house, our rules." Meaning that what Kent and I say goes whether JR likes it or not, which includes appearance in clothes and hair. She then went outside where Kent was and told him that I said it was "my house and my rules," attempting to pit me and Kent against each other. We were all sitting outside for a bit and she wouldn't let the hair thing go. She said that Kent agreed with her that JR should wear his hair however he wanted. I said, "IF he said that, he's only saying it because he's afraid to stand up to you." She said something else. I can't remember what, but I do know my response was, "JR has issues fitting in. His appearance is making it harder for him to do so." She said, "his friends have long hair like that." I said, "Oh, so you've seen the kids at his school?" She nodded her head yes (which was a direct lie on her part). I said, "Really? You have? So you've been to his concerts, and his football games and his tennis matches and you've met these kids?" She had to say no to that because she knows I'm the one who went to all of those things, and that she never once showed up. I finally got fed up with her arguing and said, "I'm not going to argue with you." When she wouldn't stop, I got up, left the porch and went inside.

4. She later told her husband and JR that I was the one who verbally attacked her. She couldn't keep her story straight, and Kent witnessed more than half of it so I told Kent that was it. I wasn't speaking to his mother for awhile until she grew the hell up. Mind you, I left out the "grew the hell up" part and kept that to myself. I also told him, "if I have to go out to their house, I'm not going alone. And I won't be left alone in a room with her either." He said he didn't blame me. I also told him I wasn't speaking to or dealing with JR unless I had to from this point forward. This may seem immature or childish, but I think it's for the best to maintain my distance because if I don't, I may say something I'll regret in the future.

And so.. here are the reasons why I am now somewhat ignoring my MIL and JR:

1. My MIL always cuts me down. I painted my living room walls an orange color. It looks like Orange Sherbet or an orange Starburst. Her words when she saw that: "It's too orange. You should have left the walls white." When I got my haircut to above my shoulders because my hair was ruined by the lady who put "highlights" into it, she said, "I don't like your hair short. It looked better long." And those were the nice insults.

2. I don't like to cook. I told Kent before we got married that if he wanted a woman to cook and clean for him, I wasn't that woman. He likes to cook so it all worked out fine. However, there are days when Kent can't cook because he doesn't feel good. I work until 7 pm or 8 pm some nights so I told JR that on those nights his dinner was up to him. We have soup, sandwich stuff, microwaveable meals, cereal, etc. for him to eat at home. He is so freaking lazy that he chooses to go to bed starving instead of making his own meal. He then tells everyone that we're starving him. And of course it's my fault because I don't rush home to cook for him. I'm like, "he's almost 14 years old. He can pop open a can of soup and make his own damn dinner." Heaven forbid my MIL's little boy go without food. So this is what she's always saying to Kent... "if you would have just married a woman who would cook, you wouldn't have to worry about any of this."

Uhm.. HELLO? Kent and I are role reversed here. I'm the bread winner. I work to pay the bills. I'm not going to run home from work just to feed the little punk. And yes, I called him punk because he is one.

3. But the one thing that really has me pissed off at my MIL is this. She said to me back when Kent was drinking (and Kent swears up and down his mother annoys him so much she drives him to want to drink) was this.. and I quote because I will never forget these words... "If you'd just fuck my son right, he wouldn't be drinking." If I would what? What kind of person uses that kind of language with her daughter-in-law, and what kind of person actually insists on knowing all the ins and outs of her son's sex life? That is just freaking GROSS! And it's none of her damn business.

So with all of the things JR and my MIL have done to me and Kent in the past, I wish to just forget their existence for awhile and melt away. I know it seems odd, but I have let it all go. I may not forgive them for everything they've put us and our relationship through, but I'm not going to constantly dwell on it either. My life doesn't revolve around them. And by me not associating with them unless I absolutely have to is the only way I know how to move on with my life.

I could bitch about everything from the beginning to the end... explain their personality disorders, their manipulations, their behavioral problems.... but I'm really tired of thinking about it. Now that I've written it out and "let it out" I think I'm going to try and focus on positive things from here on out. I'm sick and tired of being so negative and blah and depressed.