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Relationship Problems
Sunday, Apr. 07, 2013 4:29 AM

"Now I'm not a highly metaphysical man, but I know when the stars are aligned you can bump into a person in the middle of the road, look into their eyes and you suddenly know..." - Michael Franti & Spearhead

Before I begin this little tangent of mine, I need to make it clear to everyone that I am not an expert in the field of relationships. However, I do have one thing going for me. I have common sense and a level head. That being said, it's time to rant and rave about the most ridiculous things I've been noticing lately. I'm going to write this blog to YOU (and if for some reason you think you are YOU... then maybe you needed to read this blog to begin with).

I am sick and tired of watching people jump in and out of relationships. What I hate most of all is when someone goes from one relationship to the next without any grace period in between. Some of these people need a good slap in the face. Come on people! Wake up! How are you going to have a successful relationship if you can't even figure out what's wrong with your last relationship first?

I'll tell you what's wrong. It's insecurity. It's the need to constantly be reassured that you are A) loved,  B) someone special (because for some reason you have it in your head that you're not), and C) a lack of trust between you and your significant other.

It's immaturity. Immature people lack the ability to have a real relationship because they tend to be completely selfish. There is no way a relationship can be successful when one person is constantly taking 75% or more from their partner. No relationship out there is always 50/50, but it's not a good relationship when it's 100/0 or 75/25 100% of the time.

It's lack of communication. People don't know how to communicate anymore. Instead of talking, they do a lot of yelling. Instead of listening, they do a lot of ignoring. In one ear and out the other then over the head. And if only one partner is trying to communicate, it's a doomed relationship. It takes two to tango.

It's American Society. I don't know what its like in other parts of the world, but I do know that in America we seek instant gratification. We want what we want and we want it now. If we don't receive what we want within a certain time frame, we get frustrated... maybe even a little bit angry. Our society is lacking in patience. Patience is one of the most important things to have in any relationship because you're dealing with a completely different person who most likely has a completely different personality. American Society also makes it okay to love them and leave them. Lots of people are getting married and divorced within just 24 hours! Why not do the same?

So you tell me. You tell me why you're destined to be a failure at relationships. Is it because you base yourself off the comings and goings of a Hollywood Guru?  Even the most well-known people out there fall in and out of relationships like a snake shedding its skin. Maybe you look up to these Hollywood Elitists and think it's normal. Let me say this once and only once. HOLLYWOOD COUPLES are NOT the NORM!!! You are looking at people who choose careers over relationships, who choose to fall in and out of love with others based on the availability of the person at hand. Sure, there are a few who make it work but it's very few.

Maybe it's your parents. Perhaps they were the poor role models. Maybe they jumped into a relationship so fast they were blindsided when they woke up from the Honeymoon Phase. What did they expect? For the romance and the bliss to last forever? Sorry to bring this to your attention but the world is not a romance novel. Heck, it's not even a TV drama although there are plenty of people out there who want to turn it into one.

Maybe you come from a bad background. Your parents were abused so they abused you. Or maybe an uncle did something to you he shouldn't have. Who knows? Either way the list is endless as to why you can't succeed in a relationship, and I gaurantee you its for one or more of the reasons stated above.

So next time I'm on Facebook and I see that once again "Sam" broke up with "Pam" only to turn around and start dating her the next day, or that "Jill" broke up with "Phil" to date "Will" then broke up with "Will" to date "Gill"... just to break up with "Gill" to date "Bill," well..... I'm just going to shake my head and continue to wonder about the mindset of certain people existing in this world.

So it goes, Jessica. So it goes.

In 19 Seconds

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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...

- Dr. Seuss