I once had a life, or rather, life had me. I was one among many or at least I seemed to be....

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Monday, Jun. 10, 2013 5:29 PM

"I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night." - Marie Corelli

I didn't want to update until I knew more, but I can't go without saying something. I guess this past week my brother had it pretty rough. First of all he was in the hospital being tested for meningitis or syphilis. The hospital gave him some spinal taps and I suppose we're awaiting the results. I'm not too sure. I just found out he was in the hospital today so I'm sure there is something they're not telling me. They as in my parents and Scotty, of course.

Secondly, Scotty had to put one of his cats down, too. Baby Girl was her name. I guess she had an abscess on her leg and the vet did everything they could to cure it but couldn't. It came down to amputating the leg or putting the cat to sleep. Scotty chose to put her to sleep. I think I would have done the same thing, but I don't know. Pets become such a huge part of your family. Losing them is a great loss. I can't imagine having to make that decision with Haley or Comet. I just can't. It hurts me to even think about it.

Other than that, not much is going on. My grandma has been falling down lately, which is not a good sign. I don't like to think about it. Makes me ill to imagine her on the floor with nobody there to pick her up.

This is when I become obsessed with the knowledge that there won't be any grandchildren there to pick me up when I fall down. I've also become obsessed with searching for my great grandfather - which is another story all together. One I really don't want to get into right now, to be honest. And I hope that my obsession with my cats is a sign that I value life and not an anxiety attack towards the inevitable future that awaits someday. How come I can't just live in the moment and love them preciously? Why must I worry about what may or may not happen when they grow so old and I have to either put them down or see them pass away. I don't want that day to ever come. Ever.

I've been watching Once Upon a Time on my Kindle. I wonder why I never watched this series before. It's fascinating. I'm on episode 8 of season 1 so far. Extremely addicting. I can't wait for Once Upon a Time in Wonderland to come out.

What else is there? Oh yes, I am deeply upset with how Secret Life of the American Teenager ended their series. Very disturbing with a lot of unanswered questions I hate it when series do that to you. It's bad enough I'm peeved at TV right now, and then ABC goes and does this? I hate TV anymore. I hate it.

I think that's enough rambling for now. I would write more but all the thoughts floating through my mind are on a downward spiral right now and I am so not in the mood to get depressed.

In 19 Seconds

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Life Update - Tuesday, May. 21, 2019
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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...

- Dr. Seuss