I once had a life, or rather, life had me. I was one among many or at least I seemed to be....

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Somebody that I used to know..
Friday, Oct. 18, 2013 11:04 AM

"I knew when I met you an adventure was going to happen..." - A.A. Milne

Well, today is the last day that I am 35 years old. There's no going back now. I will never be 35 again. This is how the day is going so far: My right tonsil is killing me, my right ear hurts like hell, and it's gray outside and pouring rain. Normally, I would love this weather, but today I don't feel good. I hate not feeling good. I hope I feel better tomorrow. It would suck to be sick on my actual birthday.

On top of that, I have no motivation to do anything. I mean absolutely nothing. If I didn't have to go to work today, I think I'd be at home still asleep.

Random thought: how long do stuffed animals last? I keep thinking about all my stuffed animals down in the basement I've had since I was a kid and I hope they aren't turning moldy or something. I know I should probably get rid of them and let go of my childhood objects, but the idea of getting rid of them makes me extremely sad for some reason. I think, "Oh, I could make a child happy by donating these to some kid who has nothing!" Then that thought turns into, "but then the kid or the kid's mother will eventually throw the stuffed animal away or destroy it in some random manner and how could I live with myself if that happens?" As if the stuffed animal is a real animal.... as if it has feelings and emotions. What in the world is wrong with me?

Oh, I completely forgot to announce the fact that I have kicked JR out of the house. Did I kick him out literally? I don't know. All I know is that things went too far and I pushed him out the door.

This is what happened:

The Thursday after hospice moved into the house, my mom and I took up the task of cleaning up the kitchen. Kent has/had a hoarding problem with food so it was quite the task. It took us an entire day. Ten trash bags of old food later, we had a few boxes full of give away items. We set them aside for JR to help put them into the back of my mom's car since she volunteers at a store in her small town that takes donations. Normally JR gets home around 3:15 in the afternoon. On this particular day, 4:30 rolled around and he still hadn't come through the front door or in via the garage door. So, I go to the garage and ask Kent where JR is. He replies that he doesn't know and proceeds to call his cell phone. Turns out, JR played hooky all day and spent the entire day hiding out in his bedroom. This was his third unexcused absence for the semester. He comes up and tries to convince us that he told his dad he was sick, but of course Kent doesn't remember this at all.

This master of manipulation was flunking school, skipping classes, and not doing any of his chores. In fact, he was telling people we were punishing him by making him clean out the kitty litter and feed the cats. On top of that, he was telling everyone we were starving him. Six of the ten trash bags full of expired food were full of food that had been bought specifically for him, food he demanded and asked for but never touched. And this was just the food out of cabinets. We hadn't even touched the fridge or freezers. I'll just say that I've worked on the fridge that weekend and out the door went another 4 bags of frozen food that had been bought just for this master of manipulation. So, let's just say that knowing all of this and then what took place Monday sent me over the edge.

So, Kent asks JR to do some things around the house for him that weekend while I cleaned out the fridge. He came up with excuses, got his grandparents to pick him up for the weekend, and then when he pretended to get it done, he used the fact that Kent can't see very well to get away with the lack of work he did.

But let's just get on to Monday so I can vent this out and move on from it. Monday rolls around and hospice is in our house doing their Monday routine. We're talking to specific people and dealing with getting Kent into his new schedule and regime when the school calls. Lo and behold, JR is at school shaking. Of course, I think he's playing them and tell them to just feed him some crackers and send him back to class. The nurse was like, "I fed him crackers and he still won't stop shaking." I said, "well, I don't know what to tell you. I guess just keep an eye on him because my husband can't pick him up and I'm in the middle of a meeting with hospice."

About 10 minutes later the nurse is calling back and I told her, "do a drug test on him." So they do a drug test on him and it comes back negative. I just wanted to make sure he wasn't taking a bunch of Kent's pain medication or something stupid like that. I told them to send him back to class.

So what do I get in response to this? Five minutes later the vice principal is calling me up on the phone. He's telling me Kent needs to go to the emergency room because the nurse thinks it's best if he does. He said, "if you can't come get him, we can call 911 and get them to come pick him up and meet you at the hospital." So I said, "wait. You want to call 911 and cost me over $500 to transport him to the ER which will cost me another $100 just to have him looked at because he's anxious and shaking from nerves?" His response? "Oh no. It's not nerves. It's something else. He needs to see the doctor and fast." So I told him I'd call my aunt to come get him. After all, she's a retired nurse. She'd know what was going on. While I'm on the phone with her, he calls back and asks if she's coming. I said, "yes, but I have to tell her how to get to the school. I'm on the phone with her now." So I flip back over, tell Janna how to get there and while I'm explaining to her how to get there, the principal calls back and asks where she's at. "It hasn't been two minutes yet. She's on her way. It will take her a moment to get there. We live clear down on the corner of such and such streets." So then I flip back over to Janna, tell her thank you and think we're done with this whole fiasco.

Kent's nurse is talking to us about all of it and she's like, "don't take him to the ER. It sounds more like something he should see your general practitioner for." So the plan is for me to take him to see the doctor. So yeah, I miss work that morning to deal with hospice and Kent and then JR is making me miss an afternoon of work which I know will piss my dad off big time. And it did, by the way. Anyhow, I get another call from the principal and I'm like, "she's on her way. She should be there soon." Yes.... this principal was pissing me off!

So Janna picks up JR and brings him home. He comes through the door and he's not shaking. Kent and I are staring at his hands and body and they are perfectly still. Kent says, "So, you have a shaking problem? Because it looks to me like you're perfectly fine." And that's when he starts shaking again, as if he realizes we caught him not shaking. Then he goes downstairs, falls asleep in his bed for an hour, wakes up and spends the rest of the afternoon playing video games.

All of this just pissed me off to the point that I called up his grandparents, told them I couldn't take care of Kent, work full time, and deal with JR's shenanigans so they needed to come pick him up. For the last two weeks I've been working with a lawyer and they now have guardianship and legal rights to him, he no longer lives with us, and he never will again. And it has been HEAVEN.

I hate to say it, but it really has. The cats are much happier, I'm happier, the house is cleaner and less chaotic, there isn't any severe drama going on, and Kent is actually relaxed and feeling better. I almost wish I would have kicked JR out sooner. I probably should have the year he abused Haley. I am still mad at myself for not turning him in for animal abuse, but I hope the wrath he felt from me will keep him from harming another animal again. Then I probably should have the year he broke Kent's ribs, but Kent wasn't ready to let go of his son yet. I told him this time he didn't have a choice. It was either we continue down this destructive path and his son gets worse, or he goes to live in an environment where someone can pay attention to him the way he wants it. After all, that's what this kid wants. Attention.

Anyhow, that was my last couple of weeks..... and it is now time to get some lunch.

In 19 Seconds

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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...

- Dr. Seuss